Ah blog, home sweet home. I ended this blog in a pretty weird place. I wanted to find who I was after realizing my surgeries had changed me so much. It’s funny how you don’t even realize it until it smacks ya in the face.
So heres’s the update: Noah, my now ex boyfriend, is gone. And I’m left with the what ifs. Everything happens for a reason though.
My best friends live in a different town this summer so that’s just a bummer.
I work a lot, so much so that I feel like an adult. It’s weird.
Also, I’m trying to become more independent, you know be my own person or a person I would want to have around.
I’m getting there, don’t worry.
Allison Lee Snow
Quote of the day: If you want something work for it
Song of the day: Rabbit Hole//blink 182
I have my new prosthetic. It’s wonderful, beautiful even, but something is missing. I guess I’d magically feel like my old self, or even feel normal. It’s like I’m so far gone that there’s no return to who I was. I’m in a completely different realm, and I’m not myself. Is this who I’ve become? Is this where my journey ends?
Of course I have a lot of living left to do, but I’m not sure I want to be this person while doing it. I should be ecstatic because for once something is finally going my way.
I can’t focus. It’s hard. I need to find myself. I need to be me.
Someone in the search of the real Allison Lee Snow
Quote of the day: Believing is seeing
Song of the day: Car Radio//21 Pilots –This song literally describes my mood right now, and if your looking for some new music I highly recommend it!
T-minus 24 hours until I get my new prosthetic!! I feel like it’s Christmas Eve and Santa is coming tomorrow 🙂 I spent all day in the doctor’s office shaping and making the new prosthetic, and tomorrow we finish painting it. It’s awesome and I’m so happy! After everything pretty much going wrong in my life, finally it’s falling into place. It amazing, but I still don’t want to jinx it.
It’s my last day without an eye!
Quote of the day: Brush that dirt off your shoulder
Song of the day: If I could turn back time//Cher
I find it hard to see the good in things. Specifically in relationships. Remember that thing I told you about? My really bad habit? Well, if you don’t, I’ll remind you. When I have a really good thing going for me, I look at all the bad things, and I pick it apart. Then I distance myself, building walls up around me. It’s like I’m trying to fend or scare off anyone that is trying to get close to me. I really really reallllly hate that I do it. I’ve ruined plenty of relationships because of it. Like I said before, it’s a TERRIBLE habit.
So why am I telling you this? Well, I’m currently trying to prevent myself from doing this to Noah, my boyfriend of 8 months. He an all around awesome guy, yet the distance the summer is putting between us, is really messing with me. We’re only an hour away, and I still can’t handle it. It’s like I’m a defect model girlfriend that can’t stand long distance relationships. It also doesn’t help that I feel like I’ve been put on the back burner, behind his job, his family, and his freaking work out plan. I HATE it. It’s just adding on, pressuring me to do something I know I’m gonna regret. I just hate that I have to push people away and test their limits. I need someone to scream at me GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. He loves me and I know that. But is that enough?
Quote of the day: When all else fails, try, try again.
Song of the day: Avalanche//Walk the Moon
There’s always those things that you meant to do, but simply forgot.
I hate that.
My mom asked me to hang out the laundry today, and I forgot.
The rest of the night my mom was pissed at me.
I didn’t do it on purpose, but I did just simply forget.
I wish I wouldn’t forget those things because I think I would be a lot happier if I did them.
But there is always the thought that if we forgot about them, they must have not been that important.
Quote of the day: Take pride in what you do.
Song of the day: Radioactive//Imagine Dragons
It creeps up on you,
when you’re lost in train of thought.
It waits for the perfect moment
until it engulfs you.
Swallows you whole
Until there is nothing,
Well one of my best friends from college came home. Her name is Madeline, and we both have the same kind of sense of humor so we clicked right away. Anyways now she has changed. She met a bunch of people from out town while she was at college including her new boyfriend and her new best friend. We hung out yesterday and that was all she could talk about. It was sad. My feelings are hurt, and I can feel us drifting a part and I hate it. At least I have my other best friend Angie and Noah.
Speaking of Noah he had his job interview today, and it went really well! YAY. I’m going to visit him tomorrow and it’s our 8 month anniversary. Awww.
So there’s also a possibility that I can see my favorite band WALK THE MOON this summer!!!!!! I NEED to see them. And I will:)
Quote of the day: Live for here, Live for now.
Song of the day: Earned it//The Weekend
-Allison Lee Snow
So I went on an adventure yesterday! I told my parents that my friend Angie and I were going to a bigger city to visit our other friends who were still in school. What actually happened is that she dropped me off at Noah’s place and she went to see her boyfriend. Isn’t it funny how things work out? 🙂 Anyways, Noah and I are doing great and were only living an hour apart this summer. It’s doable haha. He’s even thinking about coming to visit this weekend! It kinda freaks me out how much I like him.. Like we’ve only been dating 7 months but still I don’t picture myself with anyone else… like ever. Oh shit.
On a different note, I’ve been working out recently and it’s alright. Sucks pretty bad, but I will be in shape! whoo hoo. If only it didn’t rain every fucking day. I just wanna be outsidddde.
ALSO T-MINUS 2 WEEKS UNTIL I GET MY NEW EYE!!!
Alright that’s enough for now,
Allison Lee Snow
Quote of the day: Stay thirsty my friends.
Song of the day: Bottoms up//Keke Palmer
So it’s summer break! Yay I made it through my first year of college. Now I get to work out and eat healthy every day. HAHAHAHA, but really I have to if I want to make the volleyball team. There’s a shit ton of girls going out next year and I neeeeeed to keep my spot. Anyways, my boyfriend and I have to do the long distance thing this summer:/
He came over on Saturday and I met his parents and it was great, but then he had to go back home, and he lives an hour and a half away. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but to me it is.
I just miss cuddling and shit and always having a buddy there for me.
Anyways I’m going to enjoy my summer and have a great time!
Quote of the day: Seize the day
Song of the day: Quesadilla//Walk the moon
-Allison Lee Snow
Sorry my absence lately (that’s if you actually care) but it’s finals week in college, and I am swamped with studying among other things. In good news though I passed chemistry, and I’m really hoping I can pass psyc too! Wow I’m such a nerd. Anyways here’s what’s been on my mind lately:
Don’t let people who bring you down, or distract you from your dreams dull you shine. We always run into those Debbie downer friends, or the friends that ALWAYS has something to say about everything, or just a plain shitty ass friend. Let me tell you a little secret: THEY’RE NOT GOING TO BE WORTH YOUR TIME. You deserve the best, so start believing it and stop settling. You deserve friends that support you, that are honest, and that will be there when you fuck up. Friends are like gravy, and you are the mashed potatoes. You can’t have too much gravy, or too little, but just the right amount that compliments the potatoes. Mmmmmm I could go for some right now. You have a light, a spirit, and an essence of yourself that needs to be expressed. And you need friends that can bring that out. Friends that bring out the best in you. Never forget that you are nobody’s doormat, you are nobody’s bitch, you are nobody’s “problem.” YOU, my friend, are beautiful, creative, lovely, intelligent, kind, and honest in YOUR own special way. And you don’t need ANYONE to tell you that, because I can see it, it’s in your shine 🙂
Quote of the day: Be true. Be you.
Song of the day: Firework//Katy Perry